My wedding was in the fall, so my entire wedding was full of fall colors. The oranges, reds, goldenrods, maroons, etc. of fall are my absolute favorite. My girls’ dresses were a deep, pretty red, my flowers were all fall colored roses (a Martha Stewart bouquet), and my girls flowers were gerbera daisies. alstra maria, and a mix of other fall colored wildflowers… the colors were stunning!
what i hear coming from my munchkin's bedroom "hey, kids (talking to me and her dad), i'm ready for the sing along... are you ready? k, let's sing! but first, we haffa sit our bummies on a stool... ok, let's sing... shine jesus, shine fill this land wiss da falers glorby blaze spirit blaze set our hearts on fire flow wiver flow flood the mations wiss truth and mercy send force your word, lord and let there be lice"
not so sure if i really want her to ask God to let there be lice.... but, at least she's singing praise songs, right!?!?! haha
we went to early church this morning so i could go to church with my family, but still work to get my hours in for my other job(s). we were the only family there that had a child, so she was the only one up front for the children's message. it was hilarious. she was really hesitant to walk to the front of the church, and to be in front of all those people. the pastor talked about being afraid, and how Jesus is there to make us feel safe. she asked our munch if she was scared of anything. she piped up, "yes, i is scared of monsters! they is really, really bad. i don't like them at all." the pastor then asked if there was anything we did before bed to make her feel safe. it took a little prodding from mommy, but she said, "we pray before i take my nap (that's what she calls it b/c a nap is shorter than going to bed for the night in her mind). we ask Jesus to keep me safe. annnnnd we.do.my.ANIMALS! it is so fun!" the congregation thought that was a little funny. then she didn't want to be quiet. haha. i love my kid!
*when she says "doing her animals", she means that we look at the cross stitch my MIL made for her when she was born. it has different animals sitting on a shelf (ducky, bunny, elephant, giraffe, and bear). we point to each animal while she names it, and it also has her name so she spells that, too. it's been a routine ever since she was little.
OK so... in the event of my absence, I have to make a list about my last two weeks. There were some highs, and some lows, as you will see. Here's the list:
*my gram passed away on march 29. that was a very tough thing to handle for a few different reasons. i was really close to my gram, and she was an amazing, caring, kind-hearted woman. she only had an 8th grade education because she had to help her family make money in order to survive. we lived with my gram and pap a few times. i hadn't seen my gram for almost a year, which is something i did not like. i wanted my little girl to know her better, especially since she will not know my pap until she meets him in heaven one of these days. all in all, it was a tough thing to deal with.
*my mom, dad, brother, baby girl, brother, and i had a wonderful, personal memorial for gram. dad told us each something wonderful gram shared with him about us the last time he saw her. it was very touching. we also released yellow balloons and shouted "we love you, gram!". watching them drift away was really neat.
*i went shopping for my girl. on this shopping excursion, i have unfortunately found out that i cannot buy as cute of clothes or as cheap of clothes as i could get for her when she was smaller. i spent $95 on outfits for this spring and summer, and literally got hardly anything at all. i was majorly bummed out about this finding. is there a rewind button so i can just keep her small? she had the cutest clothes, and shopping for her was a total blast. total. blast. not so much anymore.
*on the trip up, my husband stopped for gas. while he was pumping the gas, the munchkin was watching him. she made this statement, "hey, mama, little girls don't touch gas like daddy does. no, little girls can't touch gas. it's yucky. but, you know what, mama? little girls can touch little boys!" i realize she didn't mean anything bad by it because she doesn't understand that kind of stuff yet {fortunately... and i wouldn't complain if she didn't understand that kind of stuff until she was... maybe like 45 or so}, but it just threw me off guard. she has a way of doing that kind of thing every once in a while. kind of like the day when she told me she and her friends like to "smell each ollers, and we get in big, big trouble". yeah, that kinda thing is sort of unsettling. it's nice to know my 3 year old smells her friends and touches boys. haha.
*i got a really big, major reality check that we need to get our stuff together. we have many, many aspects of our lives that needs a little sprucing up. we've known this for a while, but for some reason, it hit home even more last week. we're going full force, and it's nice having a husband that is on the same page as me.
*we visited my brother's new apartment. he got a job at an attorney's office, and moved out of my parent's place. it's a really nice apartment, and i'm proud of him. there for a while, he was a little worried because he kept going on interviews, but nothing would ever come out of them. i'm glad that he finally got a job, and that he's more settled.
*my girl got to see and touch a horse for the first time. if i've ever seen an animal lover, it is definitely in my child. she isn't afraid to touch anything, and freaks out every time she sees an animal. so far, the only thing she's been leary of is larger dogs. but, when you're little and you have a massive "beast" coming toward you, it's normal to be a little frightened. after she's been around them for awhile, she is fine. the joy and excitement radiating on her little face was priceless.
*i have gotten official, 100% confirmation that i have turned in to a health nut. i knew it would be hard to follow my diet really strictly while we were up there, so i decided to just kind of watch what i ate. i missed my tuna fish, oatmeal with blackberries, fruits and veggies, grilled chicken, etc. i also missed water. my parents have disgusting water at their house. it literally makes me sick. we are spoiled because we have an artesian spring that runs under our property, so we have the freshest, best tasting water. i drank hardly any water while we were there, and i missed it desperately. don't even get me started on not working out, and how badly i missed the YMCA. i've become a health freak for sure... and i am NOT complaining!
*i loved seeing all of the amish out prepping their fields to be planted. the manure didn't smell so wonderful. but i love, love, love spring, and watching the farmers plant their crops. the colors are a.ma.zing. i just love it. spring and fall are my absolute favorite.
*easter service was amazing. it's so amazing to think was Jesus did for us. i know i am so undeserving, but He still loved me enough to die on the cross for my sins. it gives me chills!
*our puppers got groomed finally. we have a black pomeranian. if you don't know about poms, they are very, very furry. he has a gorgeous, soft coat, but it is so extremely thick and gets really matted. another thing that has been happening, is that his "sister" likes to feed him. he sits under her little table in the living room waiting for food to drop. sometimes, he doesn't have to wait. she enjoys flinging a spoonful of yogurt at him to then watch him fiercly lick it up and out of his fur. to say that his fur was disgusting is an understatement. and, yes, we clean him when she throws food in his fur, but there are still remnants in the thick, mangled mess even when we clean him. and, yes, she gets in trouble for doing this, too.
*it was nice sleeping until 8 or so every morning. i can't wait for summer! :o)
i think my list is long enough!
yes, i am still alive and kicking... i know it's been a long time since i've posted :/ i've had a lot of things going on lately, but i am back home now... so a new post to sum up the last couple weeks will come tomorrow (and yes, it will probably be in the form of a list)
I am writing this post with a sad, heavy heart. My Gram has been in the hospital for the last couple weeks. She went in because she was having chest pain and difficulty breathing. They told her she'd need a valve replacement, and a couple other procedures done to hear heart. The doctors said she had had rheumatic fever when she was younger, and it caused one of her valves to become thin and weak over time. I guess with her old age, the weak valve finally caught up with her. She also found out that she had some buildup in her arteries, and they were going to clean those out... basically it would have been almost like open-heart surgery. For an 80 year old, I don't know how well she would have fared after sustaining such a huge blow to her body. Well, her body decided to take a different route, and her ammonia levels started to rise. She became basically unconscious, and was pretty unresponsive for a couple of days. We were told that she probably wasn't going to make it, and to be prepared for her to pass away. Then, they got the ammonia levels under control. She finally was awake and coherent, and was able to talk to everyone. She began physical therapy this past week, and seemed to be making progress; although it made her extremely tired. Then at the end of this week, things started to take a turn for the worse yet again. My one aunt called my dad because my Gram was saying that she was ready to go, and that she didn't want to live anymore. My parents made the trip from Lancaster to Pittsburgh to see her. She seemed fine; she was talking, was awake and lucid, and even wanted to talk to myself and my little munchkin yesterday. Her desire was to hear my baby girl sing to her. She sounded weak, but still sounded like my Gram. To me, there was still a glimmer of hope that she would recoup, and would get to go home.
I guess her desire to talk to everyone yesterday was her final goodbye. My dad called this morning, and said that Gram is in her final stages of life. Last night, the ammonia levels shot back up, she's unconscious again, and the doctor's said that it would take hooking her back up to machines for the rest of her life to keep her alive. The one doctor told my aunt that it would be best to just let her go. The ammonia levels will just continue to build up, and it will eventually cause her brain and body to shut down. So, now, we're basically just waiting for the Lord to take her home with Him.
It breaks my heart knowing that I won't get to see her again. I won't see her smile anymore, and my baby girl won't get to know her as well as I wanted her to. We won't get to see her this summer how we planned. We were supposed to go out to her house for Christmas, but our car needed fixed, and we couldn't afford the gas, tolls, and boarding for our dog. I am going to miss her so much, and going to her funeral will be devastating. I do find comfort, though, in knowing she will get to see my Pap again (he passed away 12 years ago this April 23). She has wanted to be with him since the day he died, and that has been something she's talked about often. I'm going to miss her sugar cookies, her pot pie, her sparkling blue eyes, her smile, the way she had to wear make-up to bed, and the way she always tried to make everyone happy. My Gram is an amazing woman, and she will greatly missed.
Please say a prayer for our family... for traveling safety (there will be family coming from many different states), and for us to feel God's presence and peace during this difficult time. Thank you.
For some reason, it is my dream to have a small farm. Here is what I would want my farm to look like, and the animals that would be on my farm. I want an awesome, old farmhouse with a white, picket fence around the entire property. 
A big, red, clean barn 
A few Holstein cows (like 5 or so)
Some sheep
i have been totally kicking it in the gym for the last 3 1/2 weeks or so. i have lifted lots of weights, have kicked it on the elliptical and treadmill, and even did a class. i've eaten healthy, have had a ton of water to drink, and have noticed a really big difference in myself. then, last week comes barreling in. i was PMS-y, crampy, craving junk food at an all-time high, bloated, and feeling just plain cruddy. not to mention my child had her little "episode", and that landed us in the doctor's office for a while. soo.... amidst my woman-ness {ugh}, and child concerns, i have been slack in eating right, drinking water, and going to the YMCA. however, i have not enjoyed one single second of the junk food, not watching what i eat, and not working out. this week was hideous. i feel different, i'm thinking differently, i just don't like the changes. that is why i am officially declaring myself as a health and workout nut. i miss it like crazy, and i hate how i feel. therefore, i will never again let my womanhood or anything else get in the way of me being healthy and reaching my goals. it's not worth it, and frankly, it wasn't even enjoyable.
Our girl had an episode yesterday. She couldn't stand. Her legs were shaking. She was kinda not-with-it, and her eyes kept rolling like she was really tired. When she finally could walk she had to hang on to something to keep her balance. We thought she was just extra tired or something. But I finally was able to take her to the doctor, and they think she had a seizure. She is scheduled for an asleep and an awake EEG on April 2 so they see if it was a seizure; and if it was, if it did any damage. I asked for prayer on Facebook, and have had several people at work ask me how she is doing. Someone today asked me how I can be so calm when the pediatrician thinks my daughter had a seizure. My immediate, automatic response was, "She's in God's hands. I know He is keeping her safe, He knows what is going on, and knows how the situation is going to be handled. I'm not worried at all because I know He is in total control" They looked at me in awe. But, seriously, my trust is in Him. I put her life in His hands. He created her. He knew this was going to happen. I'm just blessed that He gave me the gift of being her Mom. I have no physical control over this situation, so why worry about it? And, I can rest assured that however this whole situation ends, it was in His plans. Do I think it is anything major? No, I do not. Do I pray that it isn't? Yes, I do. But, do I have an ounce of control or say? Nope. She's in the best hands she can possibly be in, and I find so much comfort in that.
Dear YMCA,
I apologize for abandoning you this week. We have had a really good thing going... actually, a really great thing going. You are making me stronger, giving me more confidence, and making every area of my body shrink. I really like you. A lot. I think it is bordering on an obsession. But, we won't tell my husband, ok? It'll be our little secret. I promise to come back to you next week. I miss you... like crazy. When I come back, please don't be too hard on me, and don't make me ache. I guess I would kinda deserve that for being a bad YMCA lover this week. But, it won't happen again. I swear.
See you soon
love
me
Do you see the first icon on my sidebar over there on the right? -------->
Seriously... if you haven't tried goat milk soap, you are sooooo missing out! Click that little icon, and it'll take you to their site... Or, just let me tell you why it's wonderful:
*It is all natural
*It smells a.ma.zing.
*It makes your skin sooooo soft
*You are supporting a single family instead of a big business
*It's so much better for your skin than commercial soap
*Cute little goats help make the product (it contains real goat's milk) (well, and their 8 cute kids, too... like real, human kids... not goat kids)
*Once again it smellsssssss soooooooo goooooooddddd
*There are 30 different scents to choose from
*They also have lotion sticks, which are also amazing
*They have soap filled luffas to get off your dry skin
*They have gift packs of soap so you can get 3 smaller size bars in a bag
*Each bar of soap comes in a muslin bag... and let me tell you, all those bags have been used for matchbox cars, crayons, hair "pretties", marbles, rocks, sticks... you name it, it's probably been put in a bag after mommy opens a new bar
I seriously LOVE this stuff (if you couldn't tell). I look forward to using all of my soap (by the way, another added bonus... I bought 7 bars last May (and gave 2 away to a friend), and I just had to order new soap. That is 5 bars of soap in a 9 month period of time). My husband was even making fun of me when I found out I had gotten my last bar out of the linen closet because I started (a month and a half in advance) planning what scents I was going to buy. It came today, and I am getting ready (after I hit "publish post") to go out and sniff them for the fourth time since I opened the box!!! You won't regret getting this stuff... it's amazingly wonderful.
***Disclaimer*** I was not asked to write this post by anyone.... it's seriously just how much I love this soap, and how much of a difference it makes in my skin.
Saturday was our girl's third birthday (can you say major tear). The last three years have gone by entirely too quickly. I need to find the rewind button that is hidden somewhere so I can make these days last just a little bit longer. I know it's out there... I just have to find it.. okay, or maybe it's just wishful thinking. But still. We had a fantastical weekend with our families... annnnddddd what way do you think I will use tell you all about our weekend? {Don't say a list because I so do.not. love, adore, need lists} Okay, maybe it is a list after all. Here we go:
*We made the trip up in 4 hours and 45 mins (that's like a record)
* On the way up we had delicioso Starbucks
* We had a wonderful visit/celebration with my in-laws
* My MIL's 50lb (she's 4 mos old) Lab decided that my head was her favorite place to sit {no kidding}
* She also decided that my hair was her favorite snack... lucky me {fortunately for her, she's uber cute and sweet... so I didn't mind so much}
* They got the munch an adorable cupcake cake of Elmo's head
* The child used the red icing from the cake for lipstick...
* The "lipstick" went from her hair down to her toes... literally
* But, she had fun, and that's all that matters
* We got to sleep in Saturday morning {pathetic when 8:00 is considered "sleeping in"}
* We had a fun day with my mom, dad, and brother
* The girls went to the Disney store and scored some pretty cool stuff (and a lot of it) for only $32
* The munch also got some cute new Stride Rite kicks for the spring/summer
* We had Olive Garden take-out for dinner {can you say YUMMMM}
* At my parent's we had a red Tinkerbell cake {requested by the princessa herself}, and she didn't make such a mess out of that one
* We got to go to church (with my two jobs, right now we don't make it there much, unfortunately... hopefully soon)
* Sunday morning, while the hubs was in the shower and the kid was next to me in bed, she snuck out while I was in my not-quite-awake-but-not-asleep groggy mode... after she snuck out she exclaimed, "Oh, mama... my lips are so dry. I need fish stick, and I finded a big fish stick" As I looked over to find out what this "big fish stick" was... I learned that her interpretation of a big fish stick just happens to be... her uncle's Old Spice Deodorant... that she figured out how to get the cap off of... and proceeded to wipe it all.over.her.face.
* We visited with my FIL (who does not live with my MIL) before we headed home. It's nice to see that he actually wants to make up for his mistakes and have a relationship with his son and granddaughter. Even though he won't come out and fully admit it, I think my husband agrees.
* We got home around 9 (we were over an hour away from our destination Friday morning, and stopped at the grocery store on the way home and made it home in exactly 6 hours... once again not bad!)
* I think I had one of the best night's sleep in a long, long time... it was great!
Now, I just have to wait for another month, and we get to go back north again *yay*
*
M- "Daaaaaaadddddddd...MAKE.ME.A.PEANUT.JELLY.SCHANWICH.RIGHT.NOW.UGH."
A- "That is not how you ask, young lady. You need to use your manners"
M- "I already did lose my manners free times, and you still not listened to me! Ugh"
A - "That is true, baby. Daddy hasn't listened to you. I'm sorry for not listening. But, you need to use a nice-girl voice all the time, ok?"
M -"Ok, Daddy, if you lose your listening ears I will lose my nice-girl voice"
haha... I love them.
On my way to work this morning, a little bird flew out from the brush on the side of the road. Sadly, it did a head-on with the car, and bounced up in to a pile of snow. I absolutely hate hitting animals, and in my period of grief, I had to call my husband.
Me: Hey, babe, I'm really upset
AT: Why, what's wrong? Is everything OK?
Me: Yeah, everything is fine... I just feel bad because I hit a bird, and watched it bounce up in to a pile of snow on the side of the road.
AT: You're upset because you hit a bird?!?!
Me: YES! This is only the second animal that I've ever hit. I actually cried when I hit the rabbit, at least I'm not crying!
AT: Babe, it's really, OK. I mean, it's just a bird. You did population control.
Me: But, what if it was a mama bird, now her babies will die!
AT: Ummm... it's winter, baby birds aren't born in the winter
Me: Well... she could have eggs laid already, and maybe she was sitting on them so they will hatch this spring
AT: Then, they will become cat food
Me: You're really not making me feel better about murdering a bird with a car
AT: Hun, it's the circle of life
Me: Oh, so you're telling me that my fate is getting smacked by a car? That makes me feel tons better!
AT: All I can really do to that comment is laugh. You're nuts, you know that? But I love you!
My child {you know, the sweet, cute, darling, innocent, crazy one I blog about on a regular basis} was having a conversation with her father Wednesday evening. After a little while, she decided to start pushing some buttons {surprise, surprise} to see what she could get away with. Her dad told her that she absolutely could not do what she had asked to do (I don't remember exactly what it was). She stopped, waited for a second, and you could just see the light-bulb go *BING* in her little head. She proceeded to hold up her fist, and ball one finger up at a time while saying "Feeee Fiiiiii Foooooo Fuuummmmm YOU BETTER RUN", and then she shook her fist at him. What.A.NUT.
tomorrow afternoon... at 3:30 (maybe earlier if we have another snow day, and i can make an earlier appointment).... this is what i am impatiently waiting for... so excited... so ready... giddy beyond belief.... :o) i'll update tomorrow, as soon as i know all the details.
My boy knew exactly what I needed to make this Vday perfect. He was 100% spot on with what he provided for my day. So glad he knows me, my needs, and wants! :o) 
our girl says things that crack us up all the time. i thought i'd share some of her cute, twisted, toddler ways of saying some things....
real word ............... munch's word
Courtney Browning (her BFF)...................Courtney the Brownie {love this one}
Dora the Explorer...................................... Dora 'Spora
McDonalds................................................. Dick Monalds
Dentist ........................................................Dat old man
Toes............................................................ Toesies
Thumb......................................................... Sum
No, thank you............................................. No, dank you
Excuse me................................................. A'scuse me
Three.......................................................... Free
Birthday...................................................... Bolsday
He's Got the Whole World (the song)..... Whole Bum
Heavenly Father........................................ Heabenly Faller
Remember................................................ Renember
Vanilla....................................................... Vamilla
Yogurt........................................................ Logurt
Bath........................................................... Bass
Water........................................................ Waler
Chap Stick .............................................. Fish Stick
Singulair (allergy meds)......................... Singulator
Vacuum ....................................................Vackingyoom
Lollipop..................................................... Wollypop
that's all the cuteness i can think of for now... if i remember anymore of them, i'll post them later.
"you know, my children just do not listen. dey do not do what i ask dem to do. i can't believe dey never listen to me. ugh. dey really really never, ever listen. and den, i just have to freak out"
this came from the mouth of my child... i never knew she had children, but she talks about them all the time. and, i'm glad they aren't mine... cuz they seriously never listen. like ever.
i learned a little lesson from my kiddo tonight while i was brushing her teeth. i was telling her that we need to take her to a dentist, and explained that a dentist is a doctor for your teeth. i figured it is about time, considering she'll be 3 in two weeks. while i was telling her about the dentist, i could see her little brain churning. then, she tells me, "oh, mama, you mean da old doctor dat checks my mouf? yeah... i just tell da old doctor when he tells me to open my mouf dat i don't haves any animals in my teeeesss. and den he goes away!"
i think i am going to try this tactic when i go back to the dentist, and he harps on me for not getting my root canal done. i'll just tell him that i don't have any animals in my teeth, and he'll go away. who knew it was that easy?!?!
We have had almost a total of two weeks off from school. Here are some things I've done to keep myself busy (or the lack thereof):
*mopped the kitchen floor twice (you can eat off of it, seriously)
* wiped down all the surfaces in the kitchen
* watched my husband freak out when the dishwasher decided it doesn't want to work anymore (being that it's only a couple years old, that sucks... but my husband knew it wasn't installed right and did nothing about it, so it's kinda his fault, too)
* spent mega time with my girl and boy
* watched my child dance to all of her songs
* cleaned and rearranged the munch's bedroom
* spent time with our faves
* cooked some pretty awesome dinners
* set up a meeting for tomorrow morning (this would mean that i actually want to miss school tomorrow) that has a massive potential to change the rest of my life {yay}
* been totally, hatefully nasty to my husband .... i'll leave it at the fact that i was overcome by *something* and every once in a while, that something causes me to act like a polar opposite of myself... it's not an excuse, and i apologized in an immense way... but it's the truth
* almost had to find a new home
* spent wayyyyyyyyy too much time on facebook
* read
* did devotions more than my usual
* was lazzzzzyyyyyyyyy
* helped my kid make her garden stepping stones for both sets of grandparents for their Christmas presents
* worked a bit for my second job
* got addicted to judge judy
* bummed around in jammies wayy too much
* decided i MUST buy autocrat coffee syrup as soon as i get paid
* picked out my scents for my next goat milk soap purchase cuz i'm down to my last bar (can't wait)
* contemplated calling the candle store in lititz, pa, and getting a couple more candles ordered for when we go up cuz we're almost out of them, too, and they are my guilty pleasure
* didn't exercise once cuz the Y was closed, or else i had other *issues* :/
* wish i would have done more, but am kinda happy with what we got accomplished
and, that's enough for now!!! :o)
A friend and I were having a conversation about music the other day, and I mentioned that I love Adam Lambert's "Whataya Want From Me". It's a great song. Like great, great song. I'm surprised I actually like it because the screeching and stuff drove me nuts when I watched Idol. I digress.... The next comment out of her mouth kinda threw me for a loop. She said, "Well, with you being a Christian and all, shouldn't you be against him and his music because he's flamboyantly gay?" I didn't really know what to say, and kind of just left it alone. I'm the type of person who thinks of the great response after the conversation is over. I need time to process my thoughts to give a good, solid answer, or in some cases a good slam. After thinking about her question, it really started to irritate me. Just because I like a certain kind of music or a certain artist doesn't mean I'm a "bad Christian". The music nor liking the person singing the lyrics makes me any different of a Christian. I don't go out and worship them or act on any of the lyrics that I hear. I still worship God, and strive to put Him first in my life. No music or person is going to change that aspect of my life.
Then, I got to thinking of another answer I could have used. I like all kinds of music... from country, r&b, hip-hop, rock, alternative, sometimes punk, Christian... all kinds.... and no artist from any of those genres is any different because they are all sinners. You can't tell me that the members of MercyMe, DCTalk, Selah (you get the point) are perfect people just because they sing Christian music and lead Christian lives. We are all sinners regardless. Adam Lambert's being gay is the same in God's eyes as someone else's lies, jealousy, whatever. The only being that is perfect is Our Great King... and nobody else can come close to Him in any way, shape, or form. Plus, who am I to judge Adam Lambert about being gay and his flamboyant-ness? I'm a sinner, and I do things I'm ashamed of all the time. I have no stinking right to judge him and how he chooses to lead his life. I have homosexual family members, does that mean I don't love them and won't support them? No. Would their lifestyle suit me? No, but who am I to judge them?
So.... I am going to carry on liking Beyonce, Adam Lambert, Jay Sean, MercyMe, Rascal Flatts, Lady Antebellum, U2, whoever I please... because they don't change me or change the relationship with the One I desire.
the hubs just texted me (i'm finally getting some hours in for my extra job(s)... thank goodness), and told me that we do not have school again tomorrow. i seriously don't think we're ever going back to school. tomorrow will be our seventh day being off... this is starting to get a little frustrating. i'm guessing we are going to have to say goodbye to our spring break... which will kill me because we were going to go to PA for a good chunk of that week. and there are times when i just need to go home. by april, it will be one of the times that i need to go home. plus, the students (and teachers) not having a break from february to the second week of june does not sound appealing in the least, either. they're having a meeting on wednesday to figure out how we're going to make up all of these days. i'm keeping my fingers, toes, eyes, arms, and legs crossed that we do not have saturday school and we do not lose our spring break. we'll see how much all of this crossing works!
Have you ever been at the point in your life where you want something so badly, and you know that it is up to you, and only you, to get this specific "something" done? Nobody else can do it but you. Nobody can make you do it, you need to find the willpower and stick-to-it-ness inside yourself, and just get it done. I am at that point right now. I have a major, major goal that I want and need to accomplish. It's a pretty major thing that needs to be taken care of, too. I know that I can only do this myself... nobody can tell me that I have to do it, and nobody can make me do it, either. I'm the only living being that I can count on to get this taken care of, and what I'll get out of it is the amount of effort I put in to it. For the last couple years, I have started and stopped, done really well and then just put no effort forth what-so-ever. I'm kind of like a roller-coaster train wreck. If I don't see exactly what I want to see happening, I'm done. I get frustrated, overwhelmed, and mad... then I give up. I need to change those behaviors because everything is riding on me, on my head. I'm the only party responsible for my actions, and whether I get done what I need to do. So, it is basically time for me to suck it up, realize I am in this for the long haul, set small goals, accomplish them, and reach my biggest goal. It will be amazing when it finally comes. But, I cannot give up and throw in the towel. When I get frustrated, I can't just crash and burn.. I've got to pick up where I left myself, and just keep going. Cuz if I quit, there will be nobody who can make me change my ways, and force me to do this. It's kind of scary realizing that I cannot rely on anyone else to help me get this done (here in the physical world.. like, I cannot have someone in my face yelling at me telling me what I need to do), and that I have myself (the person who has given up so.many.times.) to rely on to accomplish this goal. When I suck it up and just do this, I am also proving that I believe that God is going to carry me through everything. Because He is seriously the only One, besides my willpower-less self, who can get me where I need to be. Your prayers will also greatly help, too, and will be greatly, greatly appreciated!
Dear Snow,
I am writing this letter to you to find out if you are ever going to stop falling? Like, ever ever? I enjoyed you the for the first 10 inches you blanketed us with in December. It was really pretty. And, it also didn't cause us to change our plans for Christmas. I, the silly person that I am, thought you would be done with us down here; because let's face it, we usually just get ice in this part of the state. But, no, you had other plans. You decided to pile another 10-15 inches on us last weekend. This, in turn, caused us to miss an entire week of school, caused me to not get my hours in for my second/third job(s), and made me kind of go a little stir-crazy. Five days stuck in your house is quite a lot, don't you think? However, you still found it necessary to give us yet another 10 inches this weekend (so far, including some sleet, too). I predict this will cause us to be out of school again until at least Wednesday, maybe more. And, now, I have two weekends, yes, two short weekends (depending on whether you decide to dump on us again next weekend), to get my entire 40 hours of work in from my two extra jobs to meet my hour requirement for the month. That is going to kick my hiney. So, snow, I am begging, even pleading, for you to stop. Please? My spring break is probably going to be ruined, on top of the extra money I need to pay our bills. If you loved me at all, you would just decide to taper off, and let no more flakes fall. If it starts icing on Tuesday, I will have a letter ready for the ice, too.
Thank You Kindly,
A Stir-Crazy, Batty Woman
To begin this post, I have to admit that I like to listen to R&B, Hip-Hop, and Rap every once-in-a-while... especially when I work out. My munchkin has figured out how to get my I-pod to work, and puts the earphones in her little ears and dances in to oblivion. She's going to be an insane dancer one of these days. You just wait and see. I digress...
Here is the scene at our house last night (we've had 3 snow days so far, and we're all going a little stir crazy, which doesn't help the situation): The munchkin goes to the sweeper, pulls off one of the extensions to help you reach clear down in the couch, chair, etc, and starts swaying back and forth. She uses the sweeper extension as a microphone. Then, she starts belting out words. "I gotta feeling... that tonight's gonna be a good night, that tonight's gonna be a good night, that tonight's gonna be a good, good, night... oooooooo hhhoooooooo" and so on. She even sings the correct amount of times before you say "good, good night". She also likes to sing country, and belts "Big, Green Tractor" with the best of them, and spices it up with a little "Single Ladies" by Beyonce. We don't need to go to any concerts when we have a future Black Eyed Pea in the house, or a country or R&B star. Take your pick... she's cute enough to draw in a ton of fans, too!! Ha.
since when is sex needed to sell cereal? seriously general mills??? just had to get that off my mind. it's sad what this world is coming to, really.
My Gram (dad's mom) has told me for years that it is important to take care of my skin. We are talking about a lady who washes her face twice a day (morning and night), then she reapplies makeup after each face wash. Her motto is "You never know what time of day you are going to have to see someone. If you have to go to the hospital in the middle of the night, you want your face to look good, at least!" I wish I would have listened to her, and heeded her advice. Now that I am 30 (still, yikes), I am really regretting that I have chosen not to do so. However, it's better to start now than never, so I have gotten myself some products to help me take better care of my skin. Well, the Clinique isn't new, it's just been unused mostly up until this point. From now on, I am washing my face twice a day, and doing St. Ives Apricot scrub every 3 days. It feels so good on my skin... sloshing off the dead skin cells makes everything feel so soft and smooth. Here's to hoping that my new "about face" attitude works... taking care of my skin can't hurt! 
I got an e-card from my dad today. I guess I should have prefaced this with the fact that tomorrow is my **gulp** thirtieth birthday. Wow, does that sound weird. I'm not in my twenties any more. Yikes!!! Anywho.. I got a lovely e-card from my dad, and it made me tear up. Here is what it said:
In all the world there's only one you
You have a laugh, a smile
A heart that noone else can duplicate or replace
That's because you are a special creation of God
He formed you with His hand and loves you with all His heart
You are a blessing to those around you
And your life is a wonderful reason to thank God
Happy Birthday
Then, the message he sent was this:
Dear B
We are so very proud of you and the fantastic Christian woman you have become. We thank the Lord for blessing our lives with you. Have a GREAT BIRTHDAY!
We Love You,
Mom and Dad
Things like that make me happy. And, it's also nice to know that people can see God shining through me, even when I don't think I do such a hot job at my role of being a Christian. I try, but I fail way too much... too much to even want to talk about.
Dear Hubs,
I am begging and pleading for you to please stop sending our child to bed with her books. Please, please, please.. pretty please?!?! I understand that she loves books... you could even say she adores books. However, when she is in her room with a book in her crib, she quietly reads it and looks at all of the illustrations demolishes the stinkin thing. We've gone from ripping the binding off and tearing a couple of pages, to ripping out every blessed pop-up picture in an entire book. So, please, before you give her another book to lay down with, remember that she ruins every book you give her to sleep with. If this continues, her collection of over 200 books is going to slowly dwindle down to about 2. I understand she's adorable, and it's so hard to say no to her, but... say no anyway!
Thank you,
Your Wife (who also happens to be a lover of books, and if you keep this up, I am going to have to beat you with all of the books she's ruined until you get the fact that a 3 year old can't be given a book to sleep with... especially a 3 year old who undoubtedly destroys each book she takes to her crib)
the 9 inches of snow that fell over night are wonderful... and we probably won't be going to school for a good old while. also, if you ever need to know what the weather forecast is going to be, please just ask me. cuz the 65 nutty 4th graders most definitely proved that we were going to get some major weather. and they were right!
my adorable kiddo informed her papa (my dad), after carrying it around all day long, that she needs to get her "babing" suit on to go play in the snow. i don't know how successful that would be, but man was she ready with that "babing" suit (it was actually her snow suit... she doesn't even have a babing suit for this season yet).
annnd.... i'm back from the land of the dead. the 24 hr. funk hit me and my boy pretty badly. we've both laid in bed all day long or in the living room. the buckets of sweat from my fever breaking were wonderful.
would you find it weird if you were watching alvin and the chipmunks the squeakquel, and the twenty-something group of guys sitting next to you were doing more "oh yeah"'s, high fives, and carrying-on than all of the kids in the theater? i know i sure did!
Take a second... clear your mind of all the worldly thoughts that are going on.. your "to do's" ... what's for dinner... your schedule... just be still... take a deep breath... ready? now read this:
Jeremiah 29:11-14
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. [a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
how amazing is that? He's amazing, incredible, wonderful, almighty, all powerful, the giver of life, and so many other things i can't even comprehend. i absolutely adore these four verses, and read them often.
I am thankful for:
*a God that loves, protects, provides, and saves
* an amazing, wonderful, studpendous husband... he's seriously the best... and he's an awesome daddy, too
* the cutest munch in the land (she's nuts, but she's mine)
* a wonderful family
* my cute, furry pomeranian... i (heart) him more than a person should love their dog
* the fact that i get to see my family more than a couple of times a year (i often struggle with this when i really miss my mom, but i do get to see my parents a lot more than other people do, so i need to realize that i am fortunate for that)
* extra jobs so i can provide for my family (even when i don't want to work 20 hours in one weekend, and would rather be with my fam and in church... i'm still thankful i have these two extra jobs)
* my house... no matter how cluttered and disorganized it gets, i have a house that keeps me warm
* the fact that our eyes were opened... rather wide, i must add... to the fact that we are spending between $350-$450 more a month on food (groceries, going out to eat, etc) a month than our alotted amount in our monthly budget... that's gonna help a whole lot!
* the fact that my little nasty bubble on my eye decided to fix itsself so i didn't have to have the opthamologist cut it off *ick* and *OUCH*
* the fact that we've really taken a beating (mentally) and have realized that we need to make some changes financially because there is no reason why we are in the situation at hand
* i should be able to go down to one extra kid and not two by this summer, the latest probably the fall (we think.. and i hope)
* after this happens, even if it's not for another 6 more months or so, i'll be able to spend more time with my family and go back to church... yay!
* that all of my "problems" pale in comparison to millions of those around me... i whine and complain, and let it all get me down, but in reality, my life doesn't suck that badly... it's actually pretty darn good... and if we made wiser decisions, it would be a whole lot better... we are all healthy (mostly.. hopefully the kiddo's immune system strengthens soon, and the kidney stones go away)... we have the most amazing kiddo ... we are all happy... we have jobs ... a nice house ... wonderful families ... an amazing God that sees us through each and every situation ... we are really blessed, in all actuality.
the list ends here... for now :o)
PS.. can you say Dave Ramsey "Total Money Makeover" PRONTO?!?! ~ live like no other!
As my cute, adorable, wonderful, precious, amazing daughter was playing tonight, she decided to randomly stand up in the middle of her drum (that would be two markers banging on a metal 8x8" cake pan) solo. Once she stood up, she pulls down her pants and panties, bends over, grabs her bum, then yells, "I have a rear and a bum crack!"
Seriously.... where does she get this stuff?
i'm feeling a little overwhelmed lately. okay, well, maybe a lot overwhelmed is more fitting. i have the need to vent... i've cried several times to my husband, but writing about it helps, too. here are the things that are making me feel this way ~
* my girl has had strep 3 times in the last 2 1/2 months
* i'm almost out of sick days because she's constantly sick... it's always something, and the poor kid can't catch a break
* on friday, we thought she broke her foot, and we had to go to the ER.. it wasn't broken, but it seems as if the sprain is causing her more pain and grief than a break
* we got a call today that we had to come get her again because she had 2 diarrheas, and she's not allowed back at school for 24 hours... sigh
* my husband is having kidney stone issues again... this will be his 7th kidney stone in the last 4 years, and he'll probably end up having surgery for the 7th time in 4 years
* i have this funky, infected thing on my eyelid... i was told to put hot compresses on it, and that it would go away.... but it would get bigger first... it has gotten bigger, and bigger, and bigger, but it isn't going away. it is starting to hurt, too.. not to mention that it is the thing people stare at when they are talking to me, so it makes me feel so self conscious
* i need to have a root canal, but haven't been able to because of how sick my kid has been
* i haven't been to the orthodontist forever because of my sick child
* it seems like the medical bills just pile, pile, pile... and we don't have enough money to cover them all... and we can't leave ourselves stranded at the end of the month, either.. ugh
* i need to start grad school, but don't think we will get financial aid b/c our credit more than sucks
* it doesn't seem like we're ever going to get out of this financial hole we've dug ourselves in to... i think we're just sinking deeper and deeper
okay... i think that's enough venting for now. if i do anymore, i will start crying again, and be a huge mess. please pray for me, for us.. it's so frustrating. i want so desperately for things to change, but it doesn't seem like they are going to, ever. it seems like they are just getting worse. any suggestions on what to do? if you have some, please give them to me.. i need advice and support!
i'm so desperately ready for color, buds, sunshine, and life.... and not to mention, flip flops. spring, please come quickly.
Dear Baby Girl,
After seeing you for the past year-and-a-half since you have been able to walk on your own, I think it is time that Mommy just goes ahead and apologizes to you. I apologize that you got a double-whammy of clutzy genes. The bruises, bumps, scrapes, alligator tears, pouty lips, "Mommy it hurt"s, the tumbles, and all of the other stuff that wreaks havoc on your poor little body.... it is all Mommy and Daddy's fault. You will never be able to fully walk like a normal person and not trip. Your balance is going to stink your entire life. Who knows how many things you are going to run in to on a weekly basis. The bruises and bumps will be countles, so get used to them. I am so sorry that, when you went to kick that ball today, your little foot decided to go awry and do something totally funky. Mommy started falling down steps when she was about one-and-a-half, and Daddy when he was younger. Be thankful that our house doesn't have any steps. We will provide you with as many hugs, kisses, and snuggles it takes to make the pain go away; along with knee-pads, elbow-pads, helmets, and bubble-wrap for good measure. So, please forgive us. We gave you other great qualities, too.. You know, like your dimple, your blue eyes, and your adorable little personality. How about we concentrate on the good things we passed on to you, and not this one bad thing, K?
We Love You (clutziness and all)
Mama and Daddy
"Heabenly Fadder... I sank you for food, I sank you for my friends, I sank you for my Mommy, Daddy, and Coley, I sank you for my Jesus, I sank you for my family, I sank you for my bed and my room and my home, please keep me safe tonight and help me feel better from my yucky cough, I love you so, so much. In Jesus' Name, Amen"
She said it... all by herself. It was beautiful.. Mommy cried, and Daddy beamed with pride.
Lately, I've really been in tune with seeing God all around me, and taking in His wondrous blessings that He has lovingly given to me to enjoy. I've been often pondering how so many people can say that there isn't a God, He doesn't exist, it was all evolution. It just gets me how people don't open their eyes and see what's around them. Here are some of the many things that I've been taking in lately that definitely prove to me there most certainly is a God (this is just here in our physical world... not even tapping in to Salvation and the fact that He sent His only Son to die on the cross for my sins so I could spend eternity in Heaven with Him):
*each and every snowflake is in some way different... think about how many snowflakes there are, especially in a blizzard... and to know that each and every one... billions of them... are different. how amazing is that?
* the fact that a woman is able to conceive, hold another being in her womb, nourish it, and then give birth to that being to love and bond with... that is one of the greatest miracles, a miracle that richly blesses my life each and every single day. it still stuns me that my daughter grew inside me... i fed her and sustained her while she was growing in me so she would be able to live outside of my inner being.
* look at the entire human race... not one person is exactly 100% identical to another person... even if they are identical twins there is something that is different about them somewhere inside or outside their body. if God didn't create humans, then why are we each unique... why aren't we all just the exact same, and why don't we all have children that look exactly like the rest of the world? if we aren't God's creation, and He didn't "beautifully and wonderfully" make us, then why aren't we all blonde haired, blue eyed, 5'6", 160lbs, have perfect teeth, perfect skin, and have the exact same personality?
* consider the animals around us... how many different shades of rabbits there are and different kinds of rabbits... long eared short eared, long fur, short fur... why are there black and white cows, just plain white cows, just black cows, brown cows, brown and white cows... why do some cows have horns, but others don't? why are there so many different types of birds... some of them being plain in color, while other ones are brilliant shades of reds, blues, yellows, oranges, and other colors mixed in? what's the point in having so many different breeds of dogs and cats? why aren't all frogs just green? who needs to see the most stunningly beautiful blue frog or an orange frog that is the most amazing color of orange you've ever seen? wouldn't one type of whale, shark, fish, seal, sea lion be enough? why do caterpillars need to build a chrysalis and turn in to butterfly? why does a caterpillar have 238 muscles in its head? why does an owl eat its food whole, and then regurgitate the bones and fur to make an owl pellet? why does a spider have 8 legs, spin its own web, and secrete an oil while it is spinning the web so it doesn't stick to the web it is creating? and this doesn't even touch the tip of how many different kinds of animal species are out there, and the wonderful, amazing differences in every single one of them.
* we have 4 seasons in every year... each season has its own unique characteristics... the spring has warm and cool days... everything has new growth... bright, beautiful colors are starting to spring forth... the birds start to sing again... the flowers come out and grace us with their beauty.. there is a lot of replenishing rain.. in the summer there are hot, hot days.. there are wonderful sunrises and sunsets... we spend time with family at the beach, park, or just even outside... in the fall it starts to get cooler again.... the trees turn magnificent shades of orange, red, and yellow... animals start to gather provisions for the long winter ahead... bears have to put on extra body weight so they can hibernate all winter long.... there's a crisp, freshness in the air... it starts to get a dark a little earlier... there's a cozy, warm feeling all around... the harvest moon shines brightly in the sky.. the leaves fall to the ground and make the trees barren... in the winter there is no color... every thing is kind of drab, but it is beautiful in its own way... snow falls... you don't see many animals out because they are all protected from the elements in their homes...it gets dark really, really early... the frost glitters in the bright sunlight like someone sprinkled silver glitter all over everything outside... frost etches different designs on our windows... we can see our warm breath making steam in the cold air... water isn't liquid... and so many other differences
* rainbows... why do we need to see red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet? what's the point in a rainbow anyway?
* what's the point in having different cloud types for the different kinds of weather? or having a moon that changes shapes depending on how it is reflecting the sun's light?
* why do we have deserts, marshes, forests, rainforests, tundra, etc? why isn't the whole Earth the exact same?
* why do we need so many types of bananas, apples, peppers, pears, potatoes, tomatoes, oranges, and every other kind of fruit or veggie we eat and enjoy?
All of this greatness I just mentioned is because He loves us... He wants to share His creation with us... He gave it to us so we could enjoy it, appreciate it, and marvel at His greatness. How awesome is that in itsself.. that He loved us so much that He thought to make all of these things in so many different ways? It's almost uncomprehendable! All of this stuff didn't just happen... they are this way because our Great Creator made them that way.
I think this is enough for now. I have challenged myself to see God in everything around me... and it is amazing what I've been paying attention to and pondering. It has most definitely made me more grateful for His creation, and the fact that He made everything different for me to enjoy; when He could have made everything the exact same. How boring would that be? So, I challenge you to see if you can start noticing the differences in the things around you. And, to be thankful that not one thing is exactly the same as anything else, then thank God for the fact that He made all of these wondrous things for you to enjoy. How can you not know there is a God with all these glorious things around us?
