husband disgusting-ness <3 {love}

Every man has his own unique way of showing his girlfriend/fiancee/wife that he loves her. Some of his tactics may include sending flowers, writing notes, giving gifts. My husband, however, thinks that a hug followed by "I love you so much, babe" a massive belch does the trick. Seriously.... where did I find him? Yahoo-chat... that's right. Can I un-chat him to make him go away? Unfortunately, I don't think that will work. Eh, I guess I'll keep him and his disgusting habits around for a little while longer. He does happen to be a pretty great dad, and a mean dish washer. :o)

kicking my butt

i am feeling so unsettled lately. we have had some big issues within our small family, and they have spilled over to cause issues in our bigger family. trying to find a common understanding between everyone, and get everything taken care of has caused so much stress, frustration, anger, and even some hurt. school has also been so stressful. we're constantly having to explain why our scores aren't as good as they should be on tests, explain, explain explain, cover our hineys, we are being over-run with meetings during and after school. all of this has just sucked the life out of me, and it is totally kicking my butt. i just want to mope around, sit in my big brown chair, snuggle up under a blanket, and hide. i'm hoping it all simmers down. i'm not good at handling stress and problems. especially not when it negatively affects myself and my family. this shouldn't be a time of worry and frustration. i want to concentrate on my family, and why this time of year is so special to us. i'm ready to partake in my baby's first Christmas that she actually understands, and teach her about Jesus' birth when we put out our nativity. i'm ready to have her decorate our tree, and snuggle while we watch the pretty lights twinkle. but, the only thing i can do right now to get the situation taken care of is pray and trust. and i'm doing those two things whole-heartedly. join me in praying that God helps us to get this all taken care of in a way we can all say was the right way, and also pray that i will trust in Him to guide us, our actions, and decisions. also pray that our attitudes stay positive because we want to have a Godly attitude and get this taken care of with the utmost respect and be a Godly example.


* on a positive note, uber cute pics of the kid decorating the tree at my parent's house this weekend will be up tonight! :o)

prayer

things are steadily crumbling around me. i don't even know where to start or what to do. please say a prayer, or twenty, for me. i'm an emotional, stressed out mess. i just want everything to go away.

ALL I wAnT fOr ChRiStMaS ~

my munchkin is totally "besidick" about christmas this year... and "besidick" is a major understatement. she tells us almost daily now that ho ho is bringing her toys and presents. we're trying to put the "let's give to others" and "it's Jesus' birthday" spin on it, too... but that isn't working so well. she's two-and-a-half.. at least she understands something. we have a lot of fun new traditions planned, and it is making me giddy like a kid.

so the other day, we had a conversation. she started it, and it went something like this ~

M ~ hey, mama, let's talk!
Me ~ ok, honey, what do you want to talk about?
M ~ ho ho is coming to my house
Me ~ yes, baby, ho ho is coming to your house. are you excited?
M ~ uh huh... i very besidick. ho ho is bringing me presents
Me ~ i know ho ho will bring you presents. do you know what you would like for ho ho to get you?
M ~ yup... i want a horsey, a bear, lots and lots of books, and a box
Me ~ and that is all you want ho ho to bring you?
M ~ uh huh
Daddy ~ hey, m, since you want ho ho to bring you presents, would you like to go get presents for another little girl? because there are other little girls and boys that don't have everything you do.
M ~ nope! ho ho has to bring me presents first
Me ~ but, honey, ho ho will bring you presents still, and we can get something nice for another little girl
M ~ no, mama, ho ho has to bring me presents.... i telled you dat already (exhasperated sigh inserted here)
Me ~ did you know that Christmas is also when baby Jesus was born?
M ~ nope. Christmas is for ho ho cuz he gives me presents
Me ~ yes, ho ho does give you presents, but that isn't what Christmas is really about. Christmas is when baby Jesus was born, and Jesus loves us, and He died on the cross for us
M ~ no, Jesus lives at Papa's church. dat's all. (another exhasperated sigh here) i sink i gonna go play wiss my blocks now. you can play wiss me too, if you want! sure!


obviously she has one thing on her mind for this Christmas... hopefully when we put the nativity out and get her books "The Real Story of Christmas" from her scholastic book order that opinion may change a little. she knows about Jesus, that He loves her and us, and that He expects her to be nice and respectful to people.... but i guess His birth just doesn't stand a chance over ho ho in her little brain right now.

crazy, that's what they sayyy...

is this any indication of how wonderful totally insane my week has been? my desk is equivalent to the zoo-like children, stressed-out teachers, and just plain insanity. and it is my bet that the next week and two days won't be any better; because these kids (and teachers) need a break. desperately.

don't fit

does it bother you when you are invited somewhere by a "friend", you walk in to the group meeting/activity you are invited to, and you're totally ignored by every person there that doesn't know you? it bothers me a lot. i was invited to a group meeting of women from around town. they are a community organization that helps local people in many different ways. i've been trying to get more involved lately so i am not just sitting around home all the time. well, now i know why i sit around the house all the time; because i'd rather be with my husband and daughter instead of snotty, i'm-better-than-you women. when i arrived at the meeting tonight, i walked in and nobody said a word to me for 15 minutes. they all just looked at me like i was some sort of freak invading their meeting. not a single "hello, my name is ________. it's nice to meet you". nope. they just let me stand there looking like a stinking idiot all by myself without saying a single word to me. you would think that they would want to give people a more positive point of view about them because of how involved and "concerned" they are for the community members. but, no, they just let me stand there, totally out of place, all by myself. it was fun. and i was invited to their "holiday progressive dinner". sign me up. let me be the first on the list, please. i think i'll pass, thank you. it's obvious when you don't fit in, and that was pointed out to me really quickly tonight. so, i'll just be staying home with my three loves and enjoying more family time. at least i know i am loved and wanted here :o) and in the end, that is all that matters.

a.ti.tude.

little miss thang has been getting her attitude on lately. where she gets some of the words that fly out of her little two-year-old mouth really gets me. because she doesn't hear it at home. it is funny to see her facial expressions while rolling her eyes like an adult and heaving a huge sigh of frustration, but it's getting old. rather quickly, i might add. her new favorite thing is to fold her hands across her chest and say in a mightily ticked-off voice, "i so mad at chew right now. don't even talk 'a me cuz i mad at chew". she told me today that if i didn't "stop looking at her like that" (like what, i don't have a clue, but like that) then she would have to smack me.

this past weekend my in-laws were here from PA. my step-father-in-law picks on the kid like there's no tomorrow. i have to admit, there are times when i want to look at him and tell him to please just shut up. but, i refrain. the princess had other plans besides refraining from telling her pap off, though. when we were walking back from trunk-or-treating, he was picking on her something fierce. don't you know, that little stinker stops, rolls her eyes, puts her hands on her hips, and exasperated-ly says, "James, (her pap's name) i really wish you would stop talkin 'a me like dat. it is not nice, so stop it now, misser".

while for some if it, i don't blame her, it still bothers me that my cute little princess has had such a nasty, mean spirited attitude lately. needless to say, her tiny, cute, little booty has worn a spot in the carpet where she's been sitting in time out.

love, opinions, and thoughts

love~
so you know that i am getting myself on the right path to lose weight. i found a couple things that i love to help me in this endeavor. those things would be:

*www.settingcaptivesfree.com. a christian website that focuses on making God your priority to get your life straight in many areas. even losing weight. awesome. *thanks erica!
*www.nutritiondata.com. you can go on there and enter any food imaginable and the serving size and it'll give you all the nutrition info. you need on that food.
*calorie king book. good stuff. it just backs up nutrition data.com

opinions~
i am trying to decide on whether to follow weight watchers online or just strictly count calories. what do you think is the best route to go?

are there any other excercises you can suggest besides walking on a treadmill to get this weight off? i tried the ellipticals at the YMCA and i hate them. with a passion. i need to do something to mix it up, and am too embarassed right now to go to an aerobics class or something like that.

thoughts~
i'm on a good track. i hope i stay there. i can do it!