note

i will start off by admitting that i am a very, very spoiled person. my husband cooks, cleans, does dishes, does the bathrooms because i think it is totally gross. another thing he does every single morning is pack my lunch because he knows how much i adore my bed, and sacrifices so i can sleep in a little longer (amazing, i know). i've been very blessed with a good husband and daddy to our girl. i've also been blessed because my husband does little things to try and make me feel and know how much he loves me. it's these simple little things that mean so much. i don't need expensive gifts to know how much he loves me. so today i find this:


"have a great day. i love you so much. i will miss you today and think about you all day long. you are an amazing wife and mommy and i can't think of anyone i'd rather be with forever. i love you"

that note was in my lunchbox, and it completely melted my heart

Substandard

it's funny how toddlers grow, learn, and progress. i love watching my little one learn new things, and see the lightbulb go off in her little head when she gets something. i received an email today from babycenter.com telling me that my 30 month old should be able put her own shirt on, draw a circle, and draw a vertical line. it also said that she should know one color, recognize one friend, pay attention to one word directions, and be saying two to three word sentences. it cracks me up because the first part makes me feel like a bad parent. she can't put her own shirt on. she scribbles, but only once has it ever resembled a circle (but she did tell me it was a circle), and she definitely doesn't draw a vertical line (well, she doesn't know what a "line" is). on the other hand she knows all of her colors, all of her shapes, recognizes all of the letters in her name and about half of the alphabet (it said she should know her whole alphabet... bad parenting coming in to play once again), and she's starting to recognize most of the numbers, too. she knows most of her friends at her new school, and knew every single kid by name at her old babysitter's house. saying three to four word sentences? she was doing that when she was a little over one year old.... my munchkin says 8-12 word sentences half of the time. but, it just drives me crazy because it's like they have this perception that a child should be at a certain stage by a certain age or they aren't "good" enough or "smart" enough. why can't it be that they learn things in their own time.... and if they get to kindergarten and there are some major holes, then maybe be concerned. but she's two-and-a-half for cryin out loud. i think she knows a lot for being that young.... and the "experts" make me feel like i am a substandard parent because my child doesn't know everything they say she should... ugh. vent over.

Did I Get that Memo?

Organization is not my thing. at.all. I think I am one of the most disorganized, disheveled human beings I've ever met. I misplace papers, miss meetings because I lose the memo telling me the date the meeting is taking place, lose clothes, have a cluttered, unkempt house, do everything last minute in a hurried frenzy. But, that is who I am, and although it's frustrating on many days, I've come to accept my fault and have tried to find ways to work around it. Notice I said work around it... not fix it, not get rid of it, just work around it. I don't think there is any getting rid of or fixing to be had. I just have to figure out ways to side-step some of my disorganization to help me move a little more swiftly through my life. If you look at my house, it looks like an unorganized, cluttered person lives there.... and they do. And we have a double whammy because my husband is the exact same way.

One of the side-steps I've been doing is to get myself ready for school a week in advance *gasp*! Lesson plans being done for the next week the week before, and not the morning the new week beings?! That has literally never happened in my six years of teaching. Not even once. I have noticed that it helps to have at least something done and prepared because everything else is so unfunctional it's not even funny.

My husband and I are trying to work on our insanely unorganized life.... when you wake up in the morning, and can't find anything to wear until the second before you must walk out the door, it pretty much means that you need to find more side-steps to take to get yourself more together. Overflowing dishes, overflowing laundry, lost bills, lost shoes, lost silverware, a lost toddler.... it's all a part of our normal lives. We aren't dirty, we're just extremely, overly unorganized.

As I sit here and type this, I realize that I have missed another memo about a meeting that is taking place.... ok, I lied.... but it will happen this year!

happy

isn't it a totally wonderful feeling when your heart is totally, blissfully happy? i have a great life.... i have a great husband, a beautful, intelligent, hilarious daughter, a cuddly, soft, fluffy dog, and so much love radiates from them every single day. with the exception of a couple minor things dealing with myself and money (with this economy, who isn't feeling a crunch?) things are amazing.... and i'm enjoying waking up every morning and going to bed every night with a heart full of love, laughter, and happiness. <3

Crack and Sniff

we were sitting in the hallway... well, the kids were, i was standing... waiting patiently like a room full of banshees for the second wave of buses to pull up so the banditos could be on their way home. as they were sitting there, this one different extremely odd child was putting his finger through the crack of his shoe then sniffing it to see if his feet smelled.... quite gross, if you ask me. he did it a few times, and i was really crossing my fingers that he didn't think of another crack to put his finger down to then pull out and take a nice-big-whiff. thank goodness the bell rang cuz with his quriky-weirdness i'm pretty sure the light would have gone off in his little head, and those fingers would have made a pretty disgusting trip down south.

Let It Go

i've realized a lot in the last couple of days. i realized that i need to concentrate on what's happening in my life now, and what's going to happen in my future. things that happened in my past are out of my control, they happened for a reason, and i've got to let it go. dwelling on the past is getting me nowhere. having my mind filled with the what if's won't help me to progress in any way. i need to concentrate on all of the blessings i've been given, and rejoice in the Lord for the many wonderful ways He has provided for me. i have an amazing husband, a gorgeous little girl, a cute little doggy, and a not-too-shabby family (well, i guess they're above par, actually). i have a roof over my head, and a good job. i need to concentrate on these things because i've been blessed with them for a reason.... not on things that could have been because they never evolved, so why should they matter?.... i've just got to let it go. and i'm okay with that.

I will

run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer run a 5k next summer. don't believe me? watch me prove.you.wrong.

Ready or Not

my last two posts have expressed my feelings about the upcoming school year, and all of the changes that have been made that threw me for a loop. what i want to do is to ask you (all like 5 of you, ha) for prayer. i'm extremely nervous about teaching special education. i know i can do it, but i have had no training (and i'm supposed to), and i am a nervous wreck. it's not because of the kids, it's because i feel like i am doing a disservice to them because i haven't been properly trained. they deserve a fully equipped teacher who has been trained on how to meet their individual needs. i'm going to try my butt off to do what i can do for them, and to make sure they learn as much as they can from me this year. i just wish i could go in to this situation with more confidence, and with a feeling of being ready to provide these kids with everything they need this year. and right now, that is not how i feel at all.... so, ready or not, here it comes full throttle, and i'm just along for the ride. i guess we'll see what direction this takes in the next couple of months!

randomness shmandomness

i so love the smell of good coffee in the morning. i could smell it all day long. we are asking for a keurig coffee maker for christmas this year because we're tired of giving mcdonalds and starbucks all of our money for coffee. i could just sit here at my desk all day long and smell my coffee. it would be like yesterday, and i'd get no work done. but it would be worth it to me. maybe not really. but the thought is nice. just a nice little totally random thought to throw in there that got my mind off of its racing for a mili-second. :)

have you ever been at the point with something that you just don't really know what to do? i'm having major brain block, and it's driving me nuts. i was all ready to teach math, and then i found out (through the mail, no less) that i'm not teaching math this year. i was totally geared up and ready to go. then *poof* it was gone just like that. i've taught reading before, so i don't know why i'm having such a huge brain block right now as far as what i am doing with my room and how i am going to teach, but it still seems so different. i'm also freaking out about having to teach two extra classes, and not having my own kids all day long. if you can't tell, i'm not a person who is big on change. once i find a groove that works for me, i like it to stay that way. messing with that groove really knocks me for a loop. i get side-swiped and discombobulated (is that how you spell the word... my husband uses it, and it was appropriate here, but i don't know how to spell it; or if it's even a real word) then have a total freak out, melt down. that part hasn't come yet... i'm in the "where do i go from here" stage right now. hopefully the freak out won't come. my guess is that it will because it always seems to follow when my mind races like this. i also can't seem to put a finger on my exact feeling, either. i don't know if i'm frustrated, mad, worried, exhasperated.... mostly a combination of everything really, but i don't know what feeling is prevalent among the others.

ok i need to get my mind off of this before i do go totally insane. i'll get a cute little thought out about my munchkin before i have to go to my morning meeting.... last night i was working with my girl on recognizing her numbers. especially since she'll be working on that at her new school this year. we were sitting, playing, laughing, and having a good time while using her new number puzzle to count and recognize the numbers. she caught on pretty quick, and recognized 5 of them in a matter of 30 minutes. but, it was cute when we went back a little later to see if she remembered them, and i picked up the 0 and asked her what number it was... her little face lit up and she goes, "that's the number ZREBO, mommy!" zrebo... how stinkin cute! she was also really sleepy, and whined when i didn't cheer properly over the fact that she knew the numbers and guessed her way through the others. oh i love my girl so much. that's a positive thought to get me through the day! well... guess i better get off to my meeting.

Hello. Again.

it's been a while, again. does anybody still read this thing? probably not (besides you, Erica, that is...*AND BECKY :o)* ) i know i used to have a lot of little dots on my clustrmap and now i have maybe 20? probably not even that. oh well. the "popularity" was fun while it lasted, i guess!

so. i began a new school year today. summer went wayyy too fast. entirely too fast. like a bolt of lightning that snapped out of the sky, hit the ground, and retreated back to the sky fast. yup, that's how fast it seemed to go. we had an incredibly fun summer. the munchkin is almost potty trained (yess), she baked cookies for the first time with my grandma, did sparklers on the fourth of july, went to the aquarium in inner harbor, visited the beach for the first time and splashed like a wild chick-a-dee in the crashing waves ran for her life away from the water. i guess it wasn't that bad of a reaction, but still... it wasn't so great. she felt much safer with her cute little baby bum perched on a heap of beach towels with her pigs chilling out in the sand. she also started a new preschool and got signed up for dance class. yes, it was an amazing summer for us.

i think this year is going to prove to be an interesting one to say the least. i'm dealing with two extra groups of kids, teaching a subject i didn't sign up to teach, and am dealing with special education. see, i told you it was going to be interesting, didn't i? i also just found out from my husband that there is an opening for a volleyball coach at the middle school. volleyball is the one sport i LOVE. i love football (especially steeler football), swimming, and hockey... but volleyball is totally amazing to me. i played from the time i was in seventh grade clear until i was out of college. it wasn't always necessarily for school because i couldn't stand the coach at my high school, so i played intramural for years. but i was still involved in playing on some kind of team. with this opportunity comes two dilemmas. one of them is that i already have a part-time job (well, technically two of them) on the weekends. i work with troubled girls, and the one has told me that if i stop working with her, she will be very upset. so, if i choose to coach, then that would mean more work time for me, and less family time. we are trying to get a lot of our debt, etc. taken care of so that would be beneficial because i'm pretty sure there is a stipend for coaching, but i'm just not sure that more time away from my husband and girl is worth it. the second thing is that i'm far from being in the same shape now that i was in when i played volleyball. sigh. well, i guess i'll pray about it, and see what answer i'm given.

well, that's it for now. i know i'll have more interesting posts to create as the year starts with the kids, and with dance class.