Thursday, September 11, 2008

Broken


I am broken..... emotionally broken. I get up, and I don't want to go to work. I want to stay home, and never walk in to my classroom again. This year has been the hardest year for me, and it's my fifth year teaching. The kids don't listen. I talk, they talk over me. I wait, they talk louder. I call their parents, they don't care. Recess and silent lunch? Pfffft! Every other year it's been like captial punishment. These kids don't care. Now it has gotten to the point that all they do is argue and whine and fuss at each other. Yesterday made me hit my breaking point. Two boys in my room can't get along. They're mean and nasty to each other, and they've been told to stay away from each other. Do they listen? No. What does it cause? More fights. So, the one has told the other that he is going to kill him. He was sent to the office, and nothing was done. Yesterday, they start fighting again. Kiddo numero uno tells kiddo numero dos that he is not afraid to use his fists to take care of him. So, kiddo numero dos decides to crank it up notch, and tells kiddo numero uno that he's not afraid to bring a gun in to school and shoot him. Kiddo numero dos gets sent to the office. He gets one day, yes ONE DAY of in school for THREATENING TO BRING A GUN TO SCHOOL AND KILL ANOTHER CHILD. Whatever. So I call the father of kiddo numero uno, and he takes his sons side (of course). He doesn't care that his son started the fight yesterday, and told the other kid that he was going to punch him.... after I told him to stay away from him. Dad agrees that the kid should be punched in the face, and is now going to try and have his son removed from my classroom. This kid goes home and lies to his dad, and tells him his side of the story (of course) but forgets to (conventiently) leave out that he's an instigator. I tell dad that he's an instigator, and he doesn't really care. His comment is "Well, you're lucky that you don't have me instead of my son because I would have already beat the crap out of that kid". NICE! I don't know what to do anymore. We haven't even finished our first six weeks yet, and I want the end of the year to be here already. What kind of effective educator am I going to be with that attitude? How am I going to teach these children when they don't listen to a stinkin thing I say? I'm at my wits end. I swear I'm going to have a heart attack, be an alcoholic, need prescription psychotic person meds, or be placed in a padded room by the end of the year. I'm done. Seriously just like done. I pray every single day that God will give me strength and help things to settle down. Please, seriously, take a minute and pray that God will help me, that He will help my attitude, that my passion will come back, that the kids will listen and be respectful, that the parents will get a GRIP. I'm seriously just done.

1 comments:

Grace said...

I'm am so sorry you're going thru this with your class. As if the kids aren't bad enough, you've got to deal with their moronic parents. What time do you get out of bed to go to school each morning? Monday morning, I'm going to light a candle and pray for your day (and your class) before you even get up. I'll keep the candle lit and pray through the day. Please know that I'll be storming Heaven with prayer for you this weekend.